You got to move

Recently I read several postings about the topic 'are women natural dominant' or not.

I have to say that the word 'dominance' at first has to be defined. In the sight of a submissive -wanna be She should be dominant in way like a dominatrix is, right? An sexually too of course. How dominant can the receiving part in intercourse actually be? The male will always have the 'more active' more pentrating' role - from nature. So in that view he is more or less to be seen as 'dominant'.
But is this dominant or is he just one half of the plug?
On the other hand I see a natural responsibilty for procreation and raising children with women. May be that changed a little bit, just a little bit to the side of men, since 5000 years ago mankind declared paternity... and detected a more or less presumed charge on the side of men. But still: the one who knows exactly what to do in and around the 'factory' and the house and - more and more in school and business: is the woman. So she might be more predestinated to lead.
So while she is not acting very dominant she IS dominant, because she has the facts of life on her side, while men are fighting, running philosophies and motorbikes.
And sexually? Despite the intercourse she can be dominant to at the receiving end; even more, when she likes to slip into the role of the pampered Queen.
An it is also why I think women get in charge with time in a marriage. The longer it lasts, the older you are, the more women call the shots. Of course submissve men dream about beeing treated like a (sex-) slave by their housewifes.
But living with a real dominant wife can be very different.
If there has to be done what she likes, then she is the one who is ruling.
In my relationship I found: the more I obeyed, the more I gave, the more she took and demanded, - in a natural way and it is going on.
I believe women are far more effective than men.
So why would she use a whip (if not for the pleasure of her submissve hubby), when he is doing already like he should. She is not so 'dominant' then may be.
When I complain about having not enough sex with her (what happewns from time to time) it might be that she says: okay next saturday night I got some time for you if you absolutely need and want it. Then we might meet in bed on saturday. 'Because you want it so badly' .
And then, once startet as an act of charity to my welfare, things will change immediatly when she get's hot: I will be the one who cares about her farewell.
It is an unexpressed rule that I have to 'work on the sex'. Her big O. is the target then and mine may be following or not- she doesn't care so much. If I worked very well (and hard) for her - once or twice or more, she might ask me after, 'what can I do for you……' But don't you think she would like to make much effort with me, … when to satisfy a man sexually can be done in 45 seconds…… So that's dominant even when she looks very passiv.
SHE is so one who is served and I am the one who is lucky with that serving, when I'm in a submissive mood, but this gets me into this submissive state.
I am sure there are those messenger substances and neurotransmitters which ramble through the intimate areas during oral services from her to him and 'convince' a man getting down on her: to obey and serve his Lady in an addicting way.

When you ask your Lady to be dominant to you and she says no, I want to have it my way or no way, so what do you get?
Yep, she IS already dominant then and only you don't realise. It's her way.
You don't exactlty get what you want, but you get what you need…… :-))
("I saw her today at the reception…… a glass of vine in her hand…… " ooh I love that one.)

So with us it turns out to go more and more this way: the more I go into it with this submissve mood -which includes me beeing dominant when she wants me to: to others-even to her in bed- and beeing eagerly around her needs- the more she demands from me and the less she spares me and my body . It get's more and more 'uncomfortable' for me and I work harder for her for us than before. I love it. I love her more therefore. It's crazy.

Recently I even stopped to ask her 'why' when I am to do something I don't know why I should do it.
'It is because I want it' she said and gave me a clab on my behind whith a 'you got to move' -expression in her eyes. Men like to be 'moved', animated, like to 'endure' and do something for HER.
And that is why I stopped to ask how 'good' and 'real' our FLR -life is compared to others.
This marriage is exactly the way SHE wants it to have. With the exception that I might not be the best choice for her: I am still to change to the better - that is for sure, she's not permitting any doubt about that.
I don't know how it would be in another lifestyle: I don't ask either.

Shifting Ways

May be it's every year like that with me.
I feel like February.
I'm happy being on my own on the one hand and
becoming more and more a marital body servant on the other hand.

So that's why I stopped posting for a while: nothing really new.

Playing or beeing that slave sometimes is not the best option, because it is not always wired the way submissive husbands like to dream about.

It is of help when I can shift now easily -when she scolds me, I feel kind of very humiliated at first and then, I feel the possibility of making a shift inside and tell myself:

'That's exactly that- if you want to be submissive to her then you have to accept especially the "not so tasty bites". And when I think she's wrong and I am right, than that's the point:- just because she IS right, even if I don't see it right now.'

The situation then begins to excite me. Viewing it from that point I can even relish her quarrels. Relish uncomfortable situations and work.
This again is empowering her to increase her ways until she notices that I won't resist her orders or thoughts and obey.

Feel the tendency

I am posting not very much these days, as you can see.
The reason is a mixture of "busy" and summer holiday- time.
And sometimes you just don't like to post…

My wife and me are running a business together, so we could see each other 24hours a day.
But we don't do that.
Because she is late and I am very early up. She needs two times as much sleep than I do.


So we only have few hours together- and this time is: children, our business and anything but "relationship".
As I mentioned, my Lady does not like to talk, nor to discuss about "us". I think it's because she won't like my "typical" male sexual desires and attitudes, nor ways she would call too kinky. We have it all already her way.

When things happen, they happen. And they happen, because she wants it. Talking about those is: telenovella; no style. Not her style.

Meanwhile I feel more comfortable with that; with the years you can learn to listen to your partner- if you want to. You can feel, what she feels. But that's not enough, I know.

Sometimes even we have to talk.
Meanwhile she likes to train me to watch her, listen to her and just what she likes.

The more I am following the better it is with her.
It's not all what I wanted. But little by little... it feels "beeing" dominated, beeing submissive.
She is more straight, strict then she was earlier.
And she is -from time to time- more ...cosy.
We know each other so good- or should I say still not very good, but better.

That a man would like to have more sex...that's normal, isn't it?
And all of "us" would like to have more "play" or just more dealing with the subject FLR - normal.
Some make more progress, I know.
But having it her style is something too…

I read a nice posting from Oldbear here concerning the submission of a man to her style. Especially sexually I really like to have it in any way she likes. It is important to have your eyes open, what submissiveness means: doing it her style.
So we have the all day, anybody - situation.
Only that I / WE can deal with it .... in a different way. A better way?
I am not sure. The only "better" is, that there is, or that I feel a tendency to the more: intimacy and female led- marriage.

Haven't Forgotten You, Lady Julia !

I really miss Lady Julia' s posting on her blog.
But if is it better for her to rest or do whatever fits for her health- I really join her with all my best wishes anyway.
This is only to say: we haven't forgotten her and hope she will be okay soon- it doesn't matter so much if she likes to post then or not!

Her Rules

I know I'm lucky because I have a wife who at least has a sense of humor to deal with certain topics of my interest . She never would like to do it seriously, it's not her style. Though I know that she knows how far my natural male submissiveness is developed, she wouldn't want to really talk about it. Nor she ever did talk much about sex. It's not (only) her catholic education, it's just fun for her to not talk about it. It' s something adults do -from time to time- and it is considered a little bit crazy, but talk much about it? No. That's none of her business.

Being submissive to my wife also means to play at her terms.
She doesn't like to read much either- especially not in English- so chances are little for me to upfront things in a way I would prefer. She knows about me in her ways and she also long started to use the benefits of a female led relationship by extending her power over me, it comes along with a touch of ironic humor when it comes to what one would call the kinky side.

Surely it works for her without her having to act in a LFA- style (whatever you would understand with that), but who (but me) cares?
So that's why I feel the time is not far when I could drop things more or less seriously but mixed with that touch of humor which she likes, more tiptoe- like.
So like when she asks what I am doing I'd say I'm just reading some blogs about FLR- she might be interested. (I wouldn't show her the home- site of Elise Sutton, she wouldn't like the images, better the aroundherfinger.com).
It seems it has to be her way. Our way. It has to deal with the rules she is accepting or it has to be nothing but shit, that happens.

Take your time, but don't forget the target (how could I ever) and know: it's all up to her. There are no rules but her rules.

That takes me to the wonderful last postings from Veezknight and GoddessV's on their blog, which I highly recommend tonight to this concern. I would like to translate it into German -for my wife- for a German blog, when they give me permission.

I read their blog for a while and took some time to step back to the beginning of that blog..please, if you are interested in the topic: read it all. It's good and well written.

Sunday Morning

Saturday night I had some interesting dreams about strange neighbours, who wanted to cut some trees of our garden because those trees took too much sun from their property. That was not really a sexual dream as I would have expected after going to sleep in a state of arousal that night- as I told you here.
With one exception. Later a female appearance who did not look like my wife- but acted like her (the way she was demanding things from me) came along.

She was blond and more or less very thin (very small breasts, both differs totally from my wife)

She came to the place where I was arguing with my neighbours and made me drive her to see a doctor- she said, that only after asking the doctor she would be able to "have somebody" for intercourse. Whereby she looked at me as if I did not have any chance to be the one... I was feeling kind of guilt for not driving properly or so. Or for giving up the trees in our garden for the sake of the neighbourhood. Therefore I was not deserving anything- that's how it felt.

She went to see the doctor: I was kind of jealous because he ordered her to get totally naked in front of me and she did not hesitate one moment. Then they left together the room to go to the doctor's office and left me behind.
She came back -after a long time- and did not mention any results of the examination of her body, but wanted me to drive her somewhere else, (she wasn't dressed again) where any "other decisions" had to be done.... Then this scene vanished and soon I woke up. When I fell asleep again she didn't occur once more.

The next morning - Sunday morning- I awoke and found her beside me : my wife as the most attractive woman I could imagine- her skin and all the details a man might love when he sees himself besides the woman he loves. She seemed to be still sleeping but she was not because she started to order me to make some tea and a toast for her. She did not open her eyes so she asked if I was still naked and if I were still aroused because I had no sex last night.
Poor boy.
Hm I said I don't have sex on any night usually.
That seemed to be a bad answer and she remained silent for a while.

Get our breakfast she repeated. But now she said "our" breakfast, as if the game to serve her was finished. As if I had disturbed a little bud of romantic love play by mentioning that it was not only the last night that I was left "frustrated". Well I really have to say that last night was wonderful. But many nights when nobody noticed my desires are not.

That's the way things are. Sometimes you like it sometimes you don't. The point is, you want to be seen, you want to be told. If you cannot have it there should be your wife to say to you: I know what you want, but you cannot have it today, because I like it that way.
This is erotic.
But when nobody cares ... it is boring.

Anyway. I brought "our" breakfast and it turned out to be a nice morning anyway. We didn't have sex, but a kind of intimacy which is rare over the last years and I felt lucky and proud to be the one who is allowed to live so near with her and to be the one who made her happy this morning.

Midsummernighttalk

We woke up at the same time in the middle of the night. She came close to me and as she was lying in my arms, she realized that I was naked, as I use to be when it is hot like this. She rarely is. I was aroused. Oh ...you are naked, no boxer shorts she said.
I said no.
Then she wrapped her finger around the top of my sac and pulled it down as if to punish me for being so naked (or being aroused).
She said nothing for a while and then
she tightened the grip and pulled more strong.
What would you do for me in order to make me letting you loose again? she whispered.
Hm, I said, the question is more what would I do to make you hold me more often with this possessive grip?
Silence.
Hm, she said. I know what you mean. We both know that you would love me to torture you.
As we know, I said.
And you would do anything for me then?
Yes, I think- not quiet anything, but a lot.
Silence.
That's not enough! She replied and pulled again my balls to the knee.
It has to be anything!
Uh.
Anything! She said. It really hurt now and started to be a little uncomfortable for me.
Okay, anything, I said.
I don't believe you, she answered and the way I heard her breathing beside my ear she must be smiling.
Well, it depends on how you treat me.
It was me who said this.
No, she said, it depends only on you my love. I am not going to spank you as you might demand from me.
No, I not demanding anything like that from you, I replied.
I wouldn't do it anyway she said.
I know.
Yes, she answered.

But you could do what I want you to do anyway- I mean without me doing anything about it, don't you?
Yes I could Madame.
I know you can. Why don't you do so, ....always ?
I am still on my way, I said.
Sounds better, she said, ...but hurry up.
She once again pulled the bells and let me howl just a second to long, whereby she showed that she had time to let me endure my part.

Then she kissed me, snugged at my side and seemed to be asleep again soon.
I needed some time for myself in my aroused state of mind and body and my wonderful wife in my arm.

It was not a dreamless night than, maybe I can tell later, what my dreams where this night and then, what happened the next morning which was a Sunday morning.