Due to the changes in my life and realizing that I am more or less submissive to my wife I recognize changing in my behavier.
Earlier I used to complain that I was not lucky in my marriage. I always missed something. Let's call it (loving) female energy. And sex wasn't satisying and happend only from time to time, rarely.
SHE said once that the males would loose the need for sex and for the female with age. That was without regret.
(As if she waited for my sexual energy to vanish.)
But the opposite is the case. It is increasing in a way. I need the female energy more than ever.
I adore the female more than I did when I was young
But I need sex more as a close-to-her-feeling than as a relief (in a female body on a everyday basis).
Missing that the fantasy of being "her slave" or beeing "her knight" (which I prefer) -you name it- helps a bit to endure the all-day "nothing.."
I 'm not asking for what I need or what I desire instead I try to please her.
So this winter I was doing anything that she wanted and demanded- and that is sometimes a pleasure for me, but sometimes really not-.
Am I closer to her now? Do I have a little more of what I like?
Perhaps in the sense of not having so much trouble
and not arguing with her.
She really becomes more stern with me. Does not ask anymore - it is more like "you do please the vacuuming now...." etc.
No charming way. No Misato- way, if you know what I mean.
(It might have to do with her hormonal changes. She will be 50 next year.)
So that's exactly like submissive boys want to be treated. Isn't it?
But I'm not sure if that is what I want. In a way it is not nice and in the other way it's just half way, but difficult to push further.
The days are running by, and as "the slave's job is never done" I am getting a bit tired in my position because nothing of all the stuff I am looking for is happening, even if I really don't "want to expect" it.
I know it is difficult. And so it seems for many of you hubbies out there too- as I can read often in the blogs.
Just having dreams. Little steps in reality.
We don't eaven have the time to talk. For her to tell me what she is missing. Time for me to say what I miss. The time of going to bed mostly differs 2 hours - and the wake-up times do as well - we have rare opportunities of "coming togehter".
Do women have no need for being close togehter with their men?
Earlier she used to say, when I was asking for sex "too often", she sometimes liked just cuddling.
So I did!! But there is no cuddling at all, even when I don't mention (with words and body) sex and forget about sex (if that would be possible).
It is just boring. That's what I'm feeling these days.
I need to go ahead further.... it's spingtime.
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2 comments:
I feel your pain. All relationships require input/work from both parties and ALOT of communication.
I found aroundherfinger.com very helpfull. The husband's role in a wife-led marriage doesn't occur in a vacuum. The wife has to keep up her end of the relationship. However, the beauty of this is it is up to her to determine how. What I mean is that a little, generally sexual, attention goes a long, long way. It doesn't require intercourse or the proverbeal whips and chains.
Check out that website then TALK with her. good luck
I agree : aroundherfinger.com seems to be the best for getting into the subject for couples as an aproach.
That's why I translated the main part of that side (for women) - into HER language (german) because :
first: she doesn't like to talk about such (and sexual) issues and
second: she does not like to read anyway and
third: she does not understand much english.
I made a wonderful german .pdf- file for private use (and others). But it is still on my mac.
So to say I'm afraid she would whip me if I'd say how submissive I were. (I AM, she knows, but it is unspoken...and that's what she seems to like, because it works anyway)
To put it more seriously:
I'm am still more like a hunter. It means just watching her carefully (in love) and finding out where an open space is and when the right moment is for talk again - about the intimate parts of our marriage. (Like a sperm is on it's way to a female egg...)
I'm not shure if I'd rather stay being a "Fauxsub"- because parts of me wanted to be absolutlety independent. That's especially the case, when she acts like a governess. (Do I really wan't this ruling my life?)
The answer is: yes and no. Meanwhile the submissive feelings are really going to dominate me.
So you are totally right: There is a lack of TALK. And that's were I'll take my springtime. It's time to wake up from the winter sleep. Thanks for your words.
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