Recently I read several postings about the topic 'are women natural dominant' or not.I have to say that the word 'dominance' at first has to be defined. In the sight of a submissive -wanna be She should be dominant in way like a dominatrix is, right? An sexually too of course. How dominant can the receiving part in intercourse actually be? The male will always have the 'more active' more pentrating' role - from nature. So in that view he is more or less to be seen as 'dominant'.
But is this dominant or is he just one half of the plug?
On the other hand I see a natural responsibilty for procreation and raising children with women. May be that changed a little bit, just a little bit to the side of men, since 5000 years ago mankind declared paternity... and detected a more or less presumed charge on the side of men. But still: the one who knows exactly what to do in and around the 'factory' and the house and - more and more in school and business: is the woman. So she might be more predestinated to lead.
So while she is not acting very dominant she IS dominant, because she has the facts of life on her side, while men are fighting, running philosophies and motorbikes.
And sexually? Despite the intercourse she can be dominant to at the receiving end; even more, when she likes to slip into the role of the pampered Queen.
An it is also why I think women get in charge with time in a marriage. The longer it lasts, the older you are, the more women call the shots. Of course submissve men dream about beeing treated like a (sex-) slave by their housewifes.
But living with a real dominant wife can be very different.
If there has to be done what she likes, then she is the one who is ruling.
In my relationship I found: the more I obeyed, the more I gave, the more she took and demanded, - in a natural way and it is going on.
I believe women are far more effective than men.
So why would she use a whip (if not for the pleasure of her submissve hubby), when he is doing already like he should. She is not so 'dominant' then may be.
When I complain about having not enough sex with her (what happewns from time to time) it might be that she says: okay next saturday night I got some time for you if you absolutely need and want it. Then we might meet in bed on saturday. 'Because you want it so badly' .
And then, once startet as an act of charity to my welfare, things will change immediatly when she get's hot: I will be the one who cares about her farewell.
It is an unexpressed rule that I have to 'work on the sex'. Her big O. is the target then and mine may be following or not- she doesn't care so much. If I worked very well (and hard) for her - once or twice or more, she might ask me after, 'what can I do for you……' But don't you think she would like to make much effort with me, … when to satisfy a man sexually can be done in 45 seconds…… So that's dominant even when she looks very passiv.
SHE is so one who is served and I am the one who is lucky with that serving, when I'm in a submissive mood, but this gets me into this submissive state.
I am sure there are those messenger substances and neurotransmitters which ramble through the intimate areas during oral services from her to him and 'convince' a man getting down on her: to obey and serve his Lady in an addicting way.
When you ask your Lady to be dominant to you and she says no, I want to have it my way or no way, so what do you get?
Yep, she IS already dominant then and only you don't realise. It's her way.
You don't exactlty get what you want, but you get what you need…… :-))
("I saw her today at the reception…… a glass of vine in her hand…… " ooh I love that one.)
So with us it turns out to go more and more this way: the more I go into it with this submissve mood -which includes me beeing dominant when she wants me to: to others-even to her in bed- and beeing eagerly around her needs- the more she demands from me and the less she spares me and my body . It get's more and more 'uncomfortable' for me and I work harder for her for us than before. I love it. I love her more therefore. It's crazy.
Recently I even stopped to ask her 'why' when I am to do something I don't know why I should do it.
'It is because I want it' she said and gave me a clab on my behind whith a 'you got to move' -expression in her eyes. Men like to be 'moved', animated, like to 'endure' and do something for HER.
And that is why I stopped to ask how 'good' and 'real' our FLR -life is compared to others.
This marriage is exactly the way SHE wants it to have. With the exception that I might not be the best choice for her: I am still to change to the better - that is for sure, she's not permitting any doubt about that.
I don't know how it would be in another lifestyle: I don't ask either.
