Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hugs

She was very pleased by my "work" between her thighs. Impressed. Her face was red and her hair was moist. But as soon as she "awoke", she lifted me up and wanted to have me at her side. Wanted to have me almost equally situated. Having me down there is not comfortable for her- only for those moments of excitement and more or less without notifying.
I loved it very much that way. I once read that the female flavors and fluids in that area make a man more submissive to this woman.
Anyway may be she is afraid of her own power over me.
Maybe I'm still sometimes acting too "addicted" or delivered, when I'm worshiping her in this position. She then liked me to hug her, hold her and protect her with my arms.

And because I really like to be the one she needs I am that: the one who holds and protects her. That is the way things go. If I would act too submissive it would mean "weak" to her- as if she had to protect me in a situation. But this was at this moment not the case.

She wanted to be sure that I was her man in this vanilla -way too, so she directed me in to a upper position for a vanilla act.
You would not call me so much of a "slave" then of course in that postion.
It was more of that knight that night... but it was for sure that she called the shots and that's why I loved it most notably anyway.

Come and go




Blogs come and go. What a pleasure it is to read on a regularly basis from people you like and about things to learn.
You get used to them. I regret when one vanishes.
I am not so much a censor especially about compliance to a topic or a tag.
I am not interested whether you are a real one concerning a selected lifestyle or not. Poetry occurs at the borders of topics. Real life will be noticed consciously only when you touch the edges. So I appreciate to read not only about things / personalities similar to me but also about what totally differs. This is important because you get stupid when you try to walk on a thin line. If somebody doesn't find it worth writing why does he find it is worth reading so far and in addition find it worth writing against it.

But no blog is forever. How long will this one live? Here is a new one:
Recently I found a comment on helpmate hubbies blog from an Australian who's blog I liked too: http://subservire.blogspot.com/
I find the story is thrilling for anybody who would like to have a FLR. He dares a lot opening up to his wife -took the bad moment- and seemed to blow it all. But then....
Read yourself! He is very encouraging for so many men I think. I am curious how things will proceed.
(and meanwhile will continue my on story...)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Fireside

The day after the cleaning session in the douche was wonderful. Because she seemed to think she had done enough for me I had to do what ever she liked- as that is always the best for me to do.
So the day was nice.
In the late afternoon we went into the sauna which normally works a bit of a down sizer for my sexual needs.
For her it seemed to be the opposite (but she is not going very often)
When we were all clean and dry and in our bathrobes we had some bred and cheese together with much water and a little white wine in front of the fire.
She did not refuse me massaging her calves, then her feet. I then went up to her thighs which are my favorite parts of her body and I adore them so much using my lips. Hence I was in heaven and conspicuously excited while she was sitting leaned back watching the small TV in the corner.

From time to time she gave short comments about what she perceived from there- I don‘t remember what it all was.
I know that she is not so fond of being orally served because mostly she thinks she would not be clean enough. Secondly, she always wants to be fair and she would not yearn for reciprocating an oral act.
Since I know more about the submissive nature within men I don‘t like this either.
I am afraid of polluting a beautiful face in the wrong moment .... its nothing for HER anymore.

Thirdly she is not very often content with me going down on her because of some catholic education influence. Normally she seems elevated over this with her head but not always in her crotch.
There has been also another reason why she never liked it so much but I talk about that later.
The catholic thing is like a good wall.
You can not do much about it.
When -sometimes- the wall breaks down you have any more than you would have without that wall.
In this moment I knew she had done her part already in the morning - so I felt free to let my tongue do the best to find the way to her.
It found a good way and was not rejected.


It has not been very often that she had unleashed herself so much outside a protected bedroom. She was sitting back on the couch in the wide room with large windows to the huge garden. It was already dark and we only had the candles on. And we had a fire so anybody could look inside. But this was the space where she distinctly liked to be watched and heard and worshiped. Or else She would have said something.
And she acted like that.
This time again she ignored my sexuality. But this time I was more than lucky with it.
I think there was nobody but us. I had seen some young people out there roaming around in that area in the afternoon.
They would do what I would have done in that age. And I would have been lucky seeing a scene like that somewhere...
I would have learned more quickly a good lesson about some good rules: that she comes first and also sometimes is the only one to come.
And that a man can be very happy by being with her.
In addition how loudly women can shout - if they like.

That evening was not quite finished after this.
I'll continue.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Seaside

We had a short holiday recently.
The doctor had said to my wife that she would be better off with her breathing and nose when she would have a fortnight at the seaside.
So I let anything down in our business and went with her to a nice place in France where the winds blow and the rains fall at high tide of the big ocean. End of November , beginning of december.
We found a nice house with a chimney and a home sauna within. That is not expensive now. We were alone. No computer and a minimum of telephone.
This is an environment where men develop an extra sexual drive level.
Of course I hoped to have more time together in bed with my wife.
And we had.
I was nice to snuggle with her. It has been long time. It was wonderful to feel the very warmth of her female energy, hmm... while we heard the ghosts of the wild sea and the storm whispering outside around us. Beautiful.
So I couldn't hide my extra sexual drive level though I felt it was not apropiate for her.
What she is doing in those cases is that she is ignoring my desire.
I hate to be ignored in this way.
I would really like more her to say: "I know what you want my love, but due to my mood I‘m not going to let you have it with me right now. Please be patient."

She didn‘t say something. And my experience is, that I am not even allowed to ask.

But from time to time I believe it is my exercise to talk about my feelings and what is bothering me. So she would never say....hu... I never knew you just wanted sex. If I only knew.

Okay. Just let her know and make it conscious without any demanding. Must be possible. But is difficult.
I said that evening I had been expecting something like a play during those retiring days at the sea. I was not talking about release. I love the play itself.
She is not very communicative in that department and so she answered something blaming about my being impatient and that the chances to get what I was requiring would be even worsened by that.
So she turned it like she was wanting to perform something nice with her husband but her husband disturbed that by being so impatiently.
She asked me why I would always have to talk about the same subject.
That was really something!
It has been years that I have been mentioning our sexual relationship.

I could hardly believe that she was serious. A typical situation for us I found!
That night the cuddling was canceled.

The next morning there was no cuddling either. She was up unusual early in her dressing gown and vanished into the kitchen.

I was in the shower, when she came along, opened the shower curtain and gave me a kiss. I turned the shower aside so I would not wet her nice velvet dressing gown.
The kiss continued a little. My response showed up immediately without any doubt.
She stepped back, looked down at me and then took the shower head off my hand and started to shower my entire body carefully.
„Hands up“ she commanded and „don‘t you do any move!“
I followed her and „fixed“ my hands above at the shower handle.
So it felt like a captivation.
Finally she switched the valve increasing the amount of warm water and kept the beam pointing on the sensible areas of my hard-on.
She wiggled the spurt so it became even more arousing for me.
I really did not intend to accept any substitute instead of the experiences which I craved with her.
But she gave me no chance.
While I was still puzzling over if this was a benefit that she gave me, or if it was meant as a punishment I really got problems to resist my sexual surrender.
Especially the thought of a „punishment“ drove me over the edge.
Hardly a minute passed and I was done with what I was obviously supposed to perform.
Meanwhile she was smiling defiant at me continuing to hold the jet towards my hard-on at last to prevent my seed from spreading to far.
So this became painful for me, my body contracted and I turned aside while she said: „Is it that what you needed? Please clean it all up and take care that no one following you up in the douche gets pregnant from you.“
She laughed, gave me a second quick kiss without noticing what had happened and handled me my shower head back.
She turned and went to the kitchen from where I could soon smell the white breads in the toaster. And the coffee.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Postulations



when I observe one change in my marriage two or three years ago I remember one night when I discovered a new readyness in considering HER demands. It was the night when she talked about our daily life and that she had actually to many tasks and work. So she demanded - or better said "postulated" more of a help from my side in several ways. It was no complaining in it, but she did not ask or plead.

I recognized that there was a new tone. My heart was touched with mixed emotions.

First I wanted to flee and reject any commands in this way. It was like "nobody is allowed to give me orders".
Second I suddenly felt a certain deep excitement, a new thrill in her behavier,
as if I felt my entire personality had now to be committed to her. With this little scene I caught a glimpse of our new role -potential in our marriage.
What about simply obey her and surrender to HER will?
It happened regardless of the fact that she would have been totally right when only she would have asked me to help her.
But she did not ask.
She postulated (from) me.
She said that she wanted me to do this and that in the future- like doing the cooking for the kids a bit more often and other things.

It was the first time that she put it this way.
Because she had the natural right to give commands to me like that.
It already became inherent in our relationship. I took the second opportunity of my two possible reactions -by chance and asked what I could do for her. I kept this in mind when it turned out to be difficult for me sometimes.
And happily it worked for me.
SHE likes now from time to time request things far more sternly from me. It works for her better as well.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Just Love

Time goes by so quick when it comes down to November. I don't know why these days vanish so much faster than they did in August.

I am more of the taker than a giver concerning those blogs I like to read.
I beg your pardon, when I read much more blogs than you will notice. It is also so, that I am not so good with my English, as you already might have noticed and it takes me some time to express the more complicated thoughts.
So I try to think simple and be able to write about it. It is a good training. It makes me feel more clear.

Some of my favorite bloggs pointed to another blog called (swtp- she does not like to be mentioned anymore)- just when S. wrote her "final thoughts". I am happy that those words didn't mean that S. has closed her blog yet. But she will. Today I read about the butterfly and her husband and I liked it.

There is an interesting part in S.'s writing, that lets me ask another question: is it true that it is only love which makes a woman explore the submissve nature of her mate?

In her latest (November) Q&A Elise Sutton talks about the submissive nature of any man (more or less developed through his specific biography) . So isn't it the flip side of a couple that the true nature of any woman is to be dominant? Not only because she loves him so much, but (also) because she IS like that if- only the "female power is unleashed"?

Well every womn is different and every couple too. With men I'm not so sure. With men it's more the question of how much (sex, submission), rather than how they are.

Some women are dominant by nature others are giving a sacrifice to her husband, when they dominate him. The sacrifice is not so much that beeing in charge, it is the dealing with those kinky- aspects. Those turn the relationship to a D/s - one, make a kind of play out of it and enhance the skill of service of men extraordinary.

What I really like is what S. said about those wishes "in the draw"...compared with the always heard: "don't dream your life... live your dream".

I like to have something in the draw. Not only because I am to shy to show up anything what's in my head. I don't want HER to put some parts of her camelot in her draw again, only because I'm in a hurry with mine to take them out.
That makes me turn the fantasies into a reality of love and loving submission to my wife.
One day I am good at it and the other day not. One day my wife is kind of a natural egoist (like Helpmate Hubby's wife seemed last Saturday- forgive me hh!) and another day she wants to be the girl protected by her man ... the one with "that gentle heart and that warm laugh" (Sue) - as I can see myself on rare oportunities... and the next time she has more or less of that loving, caring attitude.

It is the living with so many forms of it and thinking about all those aspects- also the hidden ones in the draw, what keeps me alife and makes life pleasurable for me. Keeps me on my way of learning what that is: Just love.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Cognitive Dissonance

I am sometimes to fast building up my opinion. The internet is like walking in a fog from time to time. If I feel too insecure on my way, I hurry up to make a judgement of my surrounding before I have gathered enough information about it.
Especially when I get different and opposing perceptions.
But I need information and then I need to look at my heart.
My impressions will be guided by my eyes, my ears - my nose (not so much in the internet, right?) and the feelings in and outside of my body, they will be interpreted (and thats the point) by my fears, my needs, my desires... so it is not difficult to get confused and so I have to ask at least my heart. My heart is vulnerable and it is not always easy for me to notice what my feels.
There will always maintain a risk.
When I don´t feel my heart I could easily convince myself of the contrary and then I know so many arguments. Then I appriciate the opinions of others (and have to check my heart again). I like to learn.
So why I write about this is?Because I find it fits to a submissive man to be prepared to work with cognitive dissonance because there is the female and there is me and I am to make a decission in the sense which is good for her and us. If she likes it like that.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Does anybody know...

Does anybody know...

where Candace has gone? What happenend to her blog? I really miss her posts.... When someone disappears like that it leaves a feeling of ...sadness.... but we are at least in a very "unpersonal" space around here.
I liked to read Saratoga´s Post concerning the vanishing of that blog. Think he could be right... It would be nice and polite when she could send to some of "us" a goodbye with an explanation... Not?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Not always

I´m not always feeling like "submissive". Au contraire; sometimes I´m feeling like the independent boy I ever was. (And I know SHE likes me like that...) Sometimes I´m not into the daydream world of subjugation - under my desires - under a loving female authority of my choice. I have several sides...why not?
But You could make me..., if You are female and if you only knew the spell and how to wave the magic wand. Then I would be submitted (forced to be, but by my own choice) to You, to Your beauty and Your energy of a woman. And I would work for You, fight for you, endure for You whatever it takes and make Your dreams come a little bit more true.
Because that will be my dream then too. Isn´t that wonderful?
But not all of You know that. Or not sufficiently enough?

Isn´t it absurd to demand beeing in service to somebody? Why do I feel ashamed for asking Her, to be allowed to kneel before Her and kiss Her feet? To dry the drops of water from Her legs when she leaves the bathtube- with my lips? (Well actually I do that without feeling ashamed) To be lucky by just getting down on Her and go to sleep when she is finished.
Why would not She -herself- be the one who asks for her husband´s service -with the chores, in bed und what ever else.
Because normaly he does already ...it is already the case anyway. Without words, without knowing it, the two of the couple are more and more doing what SHE says, but they would not consider it as a submission from one to the other.
It is becoming -meanwhile- "vanilla- standart". Times have changed a lot. But it is not enough.

When things should go more efficiently she would choose (and he would anyway) a a bit more of D/s? Would that be more efficiently?
Women seem to be afraid at first of their husbands submission, before they have used it. They like to reject a submissive husband (and that is why he doesn´t show up his desire), because they like to have a "strong" hubby. But I never heard of a wife rejecting it, when she already once tasted the benefits for her
given through "true" submission. As there is said in some of my favorite blogs concerning the FLA- there are stron submissives too. You only have to ask or have Your eyes open, when they kind of show up.
That´s what I would do, if I where a woman.
So I would use the spell and turn the nonsubmissive male to a very submissive one. I wonder if it would work for say 90% of all men in the western world, who are interested in women at all....

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Coupe Danmark

It left me thinking and dreaming in front of my iMac... and later in bed beside my wife:
Lady Julia´s post about "Hypnotic Fantasies" yesterday. There is a fantasie I have sometimes and I like to share.
I call it Coupe Danmark- (vanilla icecream with hot chocolate sauce). Here it goes:
SHE coming from behind and turning my head to her, kisses me warm and tenderly, I feel her lips on my lips. I smell her bouquet. I am longing for more. My hand clasps softly her waist and gives me a smooth impression of her skin. I want to be near to her.
She coming from both sides cuts the nails of her thumbs and middle fingers into my nipples while kissing me even more intensly. Here tongue penetrates me.
Then her hands go down and squeeze me and pull down what there is to be pulled down.
Comfort and discomfort, approach and rejection are competing. I´m at once in my deepest submissive space.... She can have now anything from me...

Thursday, August 31, 2006

What is FLR for me?

FLR or LFA.. it is not so important how you call it.
SHE is in charge and she decides what the man has to do and even what kind of a man he presents for her. (Yes, I changed to the better..., a little.)
He is to obey. What happened if he is doing right and what when he is not doing right- it is up to her.

The essence of FLR may not be frightening to a adult woman at all.
But it has to do with a very intense desire of many men. That makes it a little suspicious. Of course there are roots in the childhood. Mother coins both, nop question. But from mother- beeing the whole world to many details ofthe world is a longh journey. And the wife you choose may taste at least different from your mother and that is because of the sexual feeling wich are grown up now.

FLR does -not- have to mean beeing passive for the man at all.
And it is not about just beeing tied up from time to time and receive "punishment" from a wife who serves to him in that way.

It means to be active (...at her leash) and serve to her needs.
And if there is truly a leash to be seen in privacy or even in public :-)) it´s up to Her. (My wife would never like to live with a weak, creeping, passive slave. But she likes comfort, wellness and service and she has no problems of requiring those needs from her husband.)
Now that is all?


FLR is to her benefit and that becomes more and more his benefit. And it seems to work like that, for many couples.

The sexual issues (which are importtnt) are depending on her.
Of course she can enhance the effects by giving the FLR a more sexual and a D/s -touch.

It´s possiblble beeing submitted with or without sex.
(I mention "without sex" because one can see a lot of traditional elder people where the woman is in charge, without stating expressively. And in most cases such a sexual or submissive note is not to be seen. But who knows..)

When ever sexual elements are involved in the FLR, the fascination for the man will increase very much and so be the effects to her benefits.
That is one reason why some women give the FLR in this way a try. (And won´t get back to the former vanilla again)

When there sex is involved, it has to include a way of D/s too....
Because the male sex only is under the rules of the female sex.
Soon she will find out: the best way for her is, when he is under her sexual control, that means particulary denied:
-so he stays attentive to her needs
-so he tends better to obey and worship her.
- and they communicate- may be for the first time: more deeply and reach the "darksides" of the male (and female...) fantasies- and from now they can perhaps be open with those and handle them.

It is something that they both might like. Yes, I think many women and men would love it, if only the outward appearance of FLR - LFA, femdom etc. would be more agreeable.

Lady Julia wrote in her comment (Thank You!) "There are so many advantages for both the man and the woman when living this sort of lifestyle. There's greater harmony in the home, the woman receives so much more positive attention from her husband, he's more helpful, and so on."
I believe she is absolutely right. If only people knew.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Her Ways

Like many other men over the age of 40 or 50 I am looking in my mind for „good reasons“ to presenting the „wife led marriage“ successfully to my wife. I can only succedd or fall deeply down with this concern. Like it is in the web and in the minds of good girls and good wifes it seems to be a terrible approach for a wife and only for the benefits of the depraved lust of weak men. So I tried to forget it. But when I read all those beautiful blogs around here I find that there must be so many benefits for the female as well. And I think it´s natural caused for a man to submit to his wife the way I fantasize it.
I never read from a women, who wanted to step back to a normal vanilla relationship once she came to know the deep submission of her husband with all the possible impacts to the daily life. I´m not talking only about the bedroom departement.
I became more and more convinced that my wife, who turns out to be a natural dominant person since I secretly submit to her, would love it- and do it her way- if only I could give her the right images and mental links to starting with a try of a female led marriage.
Unfortunately she doesn´t speak / read much english and there is not very much to find in her language (wich is german) to the subject. So I´m translating for myself (and a later use for her) some important texts I find. And I believe that I will find one day a wonderful situation for successfully asking her to be in charge in our marriage- formally and open, which is unspoken already the case.
But then will be perhaps the essential difference which will change the world. My world and more. It´s therefore that I love and estimate so much the postings of Candace. Because it is easy, light, intelligent, loving, inventive and helpful, and she is doing it - her way, and Tom with her.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Another Trump Card

I think many of "the enlightend" community read the post of Candace yesterday.

Then I was thinking about loving the wife without sex. Submitting.
Not so beautyful maybe. But that is was she was asking. Would Tom still serve her if she would neglect his "sexual needs"? (Is it similar to the Beatles: "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I´m 64?" Not?)
The answer is up to the two.
What I felt was that she was in a way down and kind of afraid of loosing Tom- for one day she might not want to use sex as a trigger of Toms submission
anymore.
Actually is the loss of sexuality in many cases the reason/result / beginning of going apart. But the submission of a loving man towards his dominant wife is another trump card for that couple, which cannot be overrated.
I believe Female Led Relationships can last longer than vanilla- ones.
Maybe a
First: Female Led Relationship could keep the lust of the wife much more aroused.
Second: submission really ties a man to his wife if she accepts it from him.
No matter if one applies disciplinary and/or sexual skills.
But if I were a dominant wife I would ask the same question.

Will Candace will soon
examine Toms submission in a more or less "sans- sex- environment"?
Just for exploring a higher level?
I don´t think he would fail. He will love it.
Because the setup of links to anything what he needs is already done, no matter what she will be demanding.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

How it started and how it goes on...


It´s not a long story... it just started early. As typical? I was feeling deep awe for women since I was 5 years old or earlier. I was always fascinated by their female beauty. And I always felt that they had power over me. But was I disciplined by women in reality? I don´t think it was more than usual.
I married 12 years ago and we did all the things togehter which normal couples do. The passion and the fire burned out, when our first child came....
Since I am 50 I recognize that those old submissive feelings (like I could name them now) towards the female came back and increased.
I was reading in the web many sites and I was lucky about the opportunities to learn about the character of those needs and desires.
One day I found out, that the woman in charge I was dreaming of, was perhaps just living beside me... I read and learnt a lot from Elise Sutton who wrote on her femalesuperiority site that true submission stirs and triggers dominance. This made sense to me and was worth a try... From that point I startet to follow some suggestions I found also at Mark Remonds "Worshipping your wife" -Web-book: Focus sexually on your wife exclusively, abandon masturbating to the ultimate necessary, pamper and serve your wife without any expectation that the acts will be answered.

I really stopped argueing with her, served her secretly without acting weakly (that is: not like a slave, what she wouldn't accept).

I felt better immediatly. My wife at this time stopped smoking and -I didn´t know if this caused a change in her libido too- out of the blue she wanted me to please her sexually again one night. Afterwards from time to time, after years of living in an erotical desert.
She had me enter her from behind ("stallion" -style or is that doggy -style?). She
always liked it that way.

This was ever a very arousing position
for me -of course. Hardly to endure. Before I used to fail by coming (to early) many times and fall off the horse. But not now: I began to use two condoms: one desentitizing and one thick.That is a good recommendation! Give it a try boys!
This allows me to stay the whole session being aroused pleasing her like she wants. Often I even abandon to release at the end (which seems all the same for her).

It is a new and fine experience: Holding her in my arms, while she falls asleep entirely satisfied-
me beeing "pure and chaste" : this is not only frustrating (a "sacrifice" to her), it is definitly more of love with her, more of her beauty and more of her female power to me. This was the time, when I knew why I was married to HER and that SHE is really the woman I love.