Hugs

She was very pleased by my "work" between her thighs. Impressed. Her face was red and her hair was moist. But as soon as she "awoke", she lifted me up and wanted to have me at her side. Wanted to have me almost equally situated. Having me down there is not comfortable for her- only for those moments of excitement and more or less without notifying.
I loved it very much that way. I once read that the female flavors and fluids in that area make a man more submissive to this woman.
Anyway may be she is afraid of her own power over me.
Maybe I'm still sometimes acting too "addicted" or delivered, when I'm worshiping her in this position. She then liked me to hug her, hold her and protect her with my arms.

And because I really like to be the one she needs I am that: the one who holds and protects her. That is the way things go. If I would act too submissive it would mean "weak" to her- as if she had to protect me in a situation. But this was at this moment not the case.

She wanted to be sure that I was her man in this vanilla -way too, so she directed me in to a upper position for a vanilla act.
You would not call me so much of a "slave" then of course in that postion.
It was more of that knight that night... but it was for sure that she called the shots and that's why I loved it most notably anyway.

Come and go

Blogs come and go. What a pleasure it is to read on a regularly basis from people you like and about things to learn.
You get used to them. I regret when one vanishes.
I am not so much a censor especially about compliance to a topic or a tag.
I am not interested whether you are a real one concerning a selected lifestyle or not. Poetry occurs at the borders of topics. Real life will be noticed consciously only when you touch the edges. So I appreciate to read not only about things / personalities similar to me but also about what totally differs. This is important because you get stupid when you try to walk on a thin line. If somebody doesn't find it worth writing why does he find it is worth reading so far and in addition find it worth writing against it.

But no blog is forever. How long will this one live? Here is a new one:
Recently I found a comment on helpmate hubbies blog from an Australian who's blog I liked too: http://subservire.blogspot.com/
I find the story is thrilling for anybody who would like to have a FLR. He dares a lot opening up to his wife -took the bad moment- and seemed to blow it all. But then....
Read yourself! He is very encouraging for so many men I think. I am curious how things will proceed.
(and meanwhile will continue my on story...)

Fireside

The day after the cleaning session in the douche was wonderful. Because she seemed to think she had done enough for me I had to do what ever she liked- as that is always the best for me to do.
So the day was nice.
In the late afternoon we went into the sauna which normally works a bit of a down sizer for my sexual needs.
For her it seemed to be the opposite (but she is not going very often)
When we were all clean and dry and in our bathrobes we had some bred and cheese together with much water and a little white wine in front of the fire.
She did not refuse me massaging her calves, then her feet. I then went up to her thighs which are my favorite parts of her body and I adore them so much using my lips. Hence I was in heaven and conspicuously excited while she was sitting leaned back watching the small TV in the corner.

From time to time she gave short comments about what she perceived from there- I don‘t remember what it all was.
I know that she is not so fond of being orally served because mostly she thinks she would not be clean enough. Secondly, she always wants to be fair and she would not yearn for reciprocating an oral act.
Since I know more about the submissive nature within men I don‘t like this either.
I am afraid of polluting a beautiful face in the wrong moment .... its nothing for HER anymore.

Thirdly she is not very often content with me going down on her because of some catholic education influence. Normally she seems elevated over this with her head but not always in her crotch.
There has been also another reason why she never liked it so much but I talk about that later.
The catholic thing is like a good wall.
You can not do much about it.
When -sometimes- the wall breaks down you have any more than you would have without that wall.
In this moment I knew she had done her part already in the morning - so I felt free to let my tongue do the best to find the way to her.
It found a good way and was not rejected.


It has not been very often that she had unleashed herself so much outside a protected bedroom. She was sitting back on the couch in the wide room with large windows to the huge garden. It was already dark and we only had the candles on. And we had a fire so anybody could look inside. But this was the space where she distinctly liked to be watched and heard and worshiped. Or else She would have said something.
And she acted like that.
This time again she ignored my sexuality. But this time I was more than lucky with it.
I think there was nobody but us. I had seen some young people out there roaming around in that area in the afternoon.
They would do what I would have done in that age. And I would have been lucky seeing a scene like that somewhere...
I would have learned more quickly a good lesson about some good rules: that she comes first and also sometimes is the only one to come.
And that a man can be very happy by being with her.
In addition how loudly women can shout - if they like.

That evening was not quite finished after this.
I'll continue.

Seaside

We had a short holiday recently.
The doctor had said to my wife that she would be better off with her breathing and nose when she would have a fortnight at the seaside.
So I let anything down in our business and went with her to a nice place in France where the winds blow and the rains fall at high tide of the big ocean. End of November , beginning of december.
We found a nice house with a chimney and a home sauna within. That is not expensive now. We were alone. No computer and a minimum of telephone.
This is an environment where men develop an extra sexual drive level.
Of course I hoped to have more time together in bed with my wife.
And we had.
I was nice to snuggle with her. It has been long time. It was wonderful to feel the very warmth of her female energy, hmm... while we heard the ghosts of the wild sea and the storm whispering outside around us. Beautiful.
So I couldn't hide my extra sexual drive level though I felt it was not apropiate for her.
What she is doing in those cases is that she is ignoring my desire.
I hate to be ignored in this way.
I would really like more her to say: "I know what you want my love, but due to my mood I‘m not going to let you have it with me right now. Please be patient."

She didn‘t say something. And my experience is, that I am not even allowed to ask.

But from time to time I believe it is my exercise to talk about my feelings and what is bothering me. So she would never say....hu... I never knew you just wanted sex. If I only knew.

Okay. Just let her know and make it conscious without any demanding. Must be possible. But is difficult.
I said that evening I had been expecting something like a play during those retiring days at the sea. I was not talking about release. I love the play itself.
She is not very communicative in that department and so she answered something blaming about my being impatient and that the chances to get what I was requiring would be even worsened by that.
So she turned it like she was wanting to perform something nice with her husband but her husband disturbed that by being so impatiently.
She asked me why I would always have to talk about the same subject.
That was really something!
It has been years that I have been mentioning our sexual relationship.

I could hardly believe that she was serious. A typical situation for us I found!
That night the cuddling was canceled.

The next morning there was no cuddling either. She was up unusual early in her dressing gown and vanished into the kitchen.

I was in the shower, when she came along, opened the shower curtain and gave me a kiss. I turned the shower aside so I would not wet her nice velvet dressing gown.
The kiss continued a little. My response showed up immediately without any doubt.
She stepped back, looked down at me and then took the shower head off my hand and started to shower my entire body carefully.
„Hands up“ she commanded and „don‘t you do any move!“
I followed her and „fixed“ my hands above at the shower handle.
So it felt like a captivation.
Finally she switched the valve increasing the amount of warm water and kept the beam pointing on the sensible areas of my hard-on.
She wiggled the spurt so it became even more arousing for me.
I really did not intend to accept any substitute instead of the experiences which I craved with her.
But she gave me no chance.
While I was still puzzling over if this was a benefit that she gave me, or if it was meant as a punishment I really got problems to resist my sexual surrender.
Especially the thought of a „punishment“ drove me over the edge.
Hardly a minute passed and I was done with what I was obviously supposed to perform.
Meanwhile she was smiling defiant at me continuing to hold the jet towards my hard-on at last to prevent my seed from spreading to far.
So this became painful for me, my body contracted and I turned aside while she said: „Is it that what you needed? Please clean it all up and take care that no one following you up in the douche gets pregnant from you.“
She laughed, gave me a second quick kiss without noticing what had happened and handled me my shower head back.
She turned and went to the kitchen from where I could soon smell the white breads in the toaster. And the coffee.