What is FLR for me?

FLR or LFA.. it is not so important how you call it.
SHE is in charge and she decides what the man has to do and even what kind of a man he presents for her. (Yes, I changed to the better..., a little.)
He is to obey. What happened if he is doing right and what when he is not doing right- it is up to her.

The essence of FLR may not be frightening to a adult woman at all.
But it has to do with a very intense desire of many men. That makes it a little suspicious. Of course there are roots in the childhood. Mother coins both, nop question. But from mother- beeing the whole world to many details ofthe world is a longh journey. And the wife you choose may taste at least different from your mother and that is because of the sexual feeling wich are grown up now.

FLR does -not- have to mean beeing passive for the man at all.
And it is not about just beeing tied up from time to time and receive "punishment" from a wife who serves to him in that way.

It means to be active (...at her leash) and serve to her needs.
And if there is truly a leash to be seen in privacy or even in public :-)) it´s up to Her. (My wife would never like to live with a weak, creeping, passive slave. But she likes comfort, wellness and service and she has no problems of requiring those needs from her husband.)
Now that is all?


FLR is to her benefit and that becomes more and more his benefit. And it seems to work like that, for many couples.

The sexual issues (which are importtnt) are depending on her.
Of course she can enhance the effects by giving the FLR a more sexual and a D/s -touch.

It´s possiblble beeing submitted with or without sex.
(I mention "without sex" because one can see a lot of traditional elder people where the woman is in charge, without stating expressively. And in most cases such a sexual or submissive note is not to be seen. But who knows..)

When ever sexual elements are involved in the FLR, the fascination for the man will increase very much and so be the effects to her benefits.
That is one reason why some women give the FLR in this way a try. (And won´t get back to the former vanilla again)

When there sex is involved, it has to include a way of D/s too....
Because the male sex only is under the rules of the female sex.
Soon she will find out: the best way for her is, when he is under her sexual control, that means particulary denied:
-so he stays attentive to her needs
-so he tends better to obey and worship her.
- and they communicate- may be for the first time: more deeply and reach the "darksides" of the male (and female...) fantasies- and from now they can perhaps be open with those and handle them.

It is something that they both might like. Yes, I think many women and men would love it, if only the outward appearance of FLR - LFA, femdom etc. would be more agreeable.

Lady Julia wrote in her comment (Thank You!) "There are so many advantages for both the man and the woman when living this sort of lifestyle. There's greater harmony in the home, the woman receives so much more positive attention from her husband, he's more helpful, and so on."
I believe she is absolutely right. If only people knew.

Her Ways

Like many other men over the age of 40 or 50 I am looking in my mind for „good reasons“ to presenting the „wife led marriage“ successfully to my wife. I can only succedd or fall deeply down with this concern. Like it is in the web and in the minds of good girls and good wifes it seems to be a terrible approach for a wife and only for the benefits of the depraved lust of weak men. So I tried to forget it. But when I read all those beautiful blogs around here I find that there must be so many benefits for the female as well. And I think it´s natural caused for a man to submit to his wife the way I fantasize it.
I never read from a women, who wanted to step back to a normal vanilla relationship once she came to know the deep submission of her husband with all the possible impacts to the daily life. I´m not talking only about the bedroom departement.
I became more and more convinced that my wife, who turns out to be a natural dominant person since I secretly submit to her, would love it- and do it her way- if only I could give her the right images and mental links to starting with a try of a female led marriage.
Unfortunately she doesn´t speak / read much english and there is not very much to find in her language (wich is german) to the subject. So I´m translating for myself (and a later use for her) some important texts I find. And I believe that I will find one day a wonderful situation for successfully asking her to be in charge in our marriage- formally and open, which is unspoken already the case.
But then will be perhaps the essential difference which will change the world. My world and more. It´s therefore that I love and estimate so much the postings of Candace. Because it is easy, light, intelligent, loving, inventive and helpful, and she is doing it - her way, and Tom with her.

Another Trump Card

I think many of "the enlightend" community read the post of Candace yesterday.

Then I was thinking about loving the wife without sex. Submitting.
Not so beautyful maybe. But that is was she was asking. Would Tom still serve her if she would neglect his "sexual needs"? (Is it similar to the Beatles: "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I´m 64?" Not?)
The answer is up to the two.
What I felt was that she was in a way down and kind of afraid of loosing Tom- for one day she might not want to use sex as a trigger of Toms submission anymore.
Actually is the loss of sexuality in many cases the reason/result / beginning of going apart. But the submission of a loving man towards his dominant wife is another trump card for that couple, which cannot be overrated.
I believe Female Led Relationships can last longer than vanilla- ones.
Maybe a First: Female Led Relationship could keep the lust of the wife much more aroused.
Second: submission really ties a man to his wife if she accepts it from him.
No matter if one applies disciplinary and/or sexual skills.
But if I were a dominant wife I would ask the same question.

Will Candace will soon examine Toms submission in a more or less "sans- sex- environment"?
Just for exploring a higher level?
I don´t think he would fail. He will love it.
Because the setup of links to anything what he needs is already done, no matter what she will be demanding.

How it started and how it goes on...

It´s not a long story... it just started early. As typical? I was feeling deep awe for women since I was 5 years old or earlier. I was always fascinated by their female beauty. And I always felt that they had power over me. But was I disciplined by women in reality? I don´t think it was more than usual.
I married 12 years ago and we did all the things togehter which normal couples do. The passion and the fire burned out, when our first child came....
Since I am 50 I recognize that those old submissive feelings (like I could name them now) towards the female came back and increased.
I was reading in the web many sites and I was lucky about the opportunities to learn about the character of those needs and desires.
One day I found out, that the woman in charge I was dreaming of, was perhaps just living beside me... I read and learnt a lot from Elise Sutton who wrote on her femalesuperiority site that true submission stirs and triggers dominance. This made sense to me and was worth a try... From that point I startet to follow some suggestions I found also at Mark Remonds "Worshipping your wife" -Web-book: Focus sexually on your wife exclusively, abandon masturbating to the ultimate necessary, pamper and serve your wife without any expectation that the acts will be answered.
I really stopped argueing with her, served her secretly without acting weakly (that is: not like a slave, what she wouldn't accept).

I felt better immediatly. My wife at this time stopped smoking and -I didn´t know if this caused a change in her libido too- out of the blue she wanted me to please her sexually again one night. Afterwards from time to time, after years of living in an erotical desert.
She had me enter her from behind ("stallion" -style or is that doggy -style?). She always liked it that way.

This was ever a very arousing position for me -of course. Hardly to endure. Before I used to fail by coming (to early) many times and fall off the horse. But not now: I began to use two condoms: one desentitizing and one thick.That is a good recommendation! Give it a try boys!
This allows me to stay the whole session being aroused pleasing her like she wants. Often I even abandon to release at the end (which seems all the same for her).

It is a new and fine experience: Holding her in my arms, while she falls asleep entirely satisfied- me beeing "pure and chaste" : this is not only frustrating (a "sacrifice" to her), it is definitly more of love with her, more of her beauty and more of her female power to me. This was the time, when I knew why I was married to HER and that SHE is really the woman I love.