Feel the tendency

I am posting not very much these days, as you can see.
The reason is a mixture of "busy" and summer holiday- time.
And sometimes you just don't like to post…

My wife and me are running a business together, so we could see each other 24hours a day.
But we don't do that.
Because she is late and I am very early up. She needs two times as much sleep than I do.


So we only have few hours together- and this time is: children, our business and anything but "relationship".
As I mentioned, my Lady does not like to talk, nor to discuss about "us". I think it's because she won't like my "typical" male sexual desires and attitudes, nor ways she would call too kinky. We have it all already her way.

When things happen, they happen. And they happen, because she wants it. Talking about those is: telenovella; no style. Not her style.

Meanwhile I feel more comfortable with that; with the years you can learn to listen to your partner- if you want to. You can feel, what she feels. But that's not enough, I know.

Sometimes even we have to talk.
Meanwhile she likes to train me to watch her, listen to her and just what she likes.

The more I am following the better it is with her.
It's not all what I wanted. But little by little... it feels "beeing" dominated, beeing submissive.
She is more straight, strict then she was earlier.
And she is -from time to time- more ...cosy.
We know each other so good- or should I say still not very good, but better.

That a man would like to have more sex...that's normal, isn't it?
And all of "us" would like to have more "play" or just more dealing with the subject FLR - normal.
Some make more progress, I know.
But having it her style is something too…

I read a nice posting from Oldbear here concerning the submission of a man to her style. Especially sexually I really like to have it in any way she likes. It is important to have your eyes open, what submissiveness means: doing it her style.
So we have the all day, anybody - situation.
Only that I / WE can deal with it .... in a different way. A better way?
I am not sure. The only "better" is, that there is, or that I feel a tendency to the more: intimacy and female led- marriage.

Haven't Forgotten You, Lady Julia !

I really miss Lady Julia' s posting on her blog.
But if is it better for her to rest or do whatever fits for her health- I really join her with all my best wishes anyway.
This is only to say: we haven't forgotten her and hope she will be okay soon- it doesn't matter so much if she likes to post then or not!

Her Rules

I know I'm lucky because I have a wife who at least has a sense of humor to deal with certain topics of my interest . She never would like to do it seriously, it's not her style. Though I know that she knows how far my natural male submissiveness is developed, she wouldn't want to really talk about it. Nor she ever did talk much about sex. It's not (only) her catholic education, it's just fun for her to not talk about it. It' s something adults do -from time to time- and it is considered a little bit crazy, but talk much about it? No. That's none of her business.

Being submissive to my wife also means to play at her terms.
She doesn't like to read much either- especially not in English- so chances are little for me to upfront things in a way I would prefer. She knows about me in her ways and she also long started to use the benefits of a female led relationship by extending her power over me, it comes along with a touch of ironic humor when it comes to what one would call the kinky side.

Surely it works for her without her having to act in a LFA- style (whatever you would understand with that), but who (but me) cares?
So that's why I feel the time is not far when I could drop things more or less seriously but mixed with that touch of humor which she likes, more tiptoe- like.
So like when she asks what I am doing I'd say I'm just reading some blogs about FLR- she might be interested. (I wouldn't show her the home- site of Elise Sutton, she wouldn't like the images, better the aroundherfinger.com).
It seems it has to be her way. Our way. It has to deal with the rules she is accepting or it has to be nothing but shit, that happens.

Take your time, but don't forget the target (how could I ever) and know: it's all up to her. There are no rules but her rules.

That takes me to the wonderful last postings from Veezknight and GoddessV's on their blog, which I highly recommend tonight to this concern. I would like to translate it into German -for my wife- for a German blog, when they give me permission.

I read their blog for a while and took some time to step back to the beginning of that blog..please, if you are interested in the topic: read it all. It's good and well written.

Sunday Morning

Saturday night I had some interesting dreams about strange neighbours, who wanted to cut some trees of our garden because those trees took too much sun from their property. That was not really a sexual dream as I would have expected after going to sleep in a state of arousal that night- as I told you here.
With one exception. Later a female appearance who did not look like my wife- but acted like her (the way she was demanding things from me) came along.

She was blond and more or less very thin (very small breasts, both differs totally from my wife)

She came to the place where I was arguing with my neighbours and made me drive her to see a doctor- she said, that only after asking the doctor she would be able to "have somebody" for intercourse. Whereby she looked at me as if I did not have any chance to be the one... I was feeling kind of guilt for not driving properly or so. Or for giving up the trees in our garden for the sake of the neighbourhood. Therefore I was not deserving anything- that's how it felt.

She went to see the doctor: I was kind of jealous because he ordered her to get totally naked in front of me and she did not hesitate one moment. Then they left together the room to go to the doctor's office and left me behind.
She came back -after a long time- and did not mention any results of the examination of her body, but wanted me to drive her somewhere else, (she wasn't dressed again) where any "other decisions" had to be done.... Then this scene vanished and soon I woke up. When I fell asleep again she didn't occur once more.

The next morning - Sunday morning- I awoke and found her beside me : my wife as the most attractive woman I could imagine- her skin and all the details a man might love when he sees himself besides the woman he loves. She seemed to be still sleeping but she was not because she started to order me to make some tea and a toast for her. She did not open her eyes so she asked if I was still naked and if I were still aroused because I had no sex last night.
Poor boy.
Hm I said I don't have sex on any night usually.
That seemed to be a bad answer and she remained silent for a while.

Get our breakfast she repeated. But now she said "our" breakfast, as if the game to serve her was finished. As if I had disturbed a little bud of romantic love play by mentioning that it was not only the last night that I was left "frustrated". Well I really have to say that last night was wonderful. But many nights when nobody noticed my desires are not.

That's the way things are. Sometimes you like it sometimes you don't. The point is, you want to be seen, you want to be told. If you cannot have it there should be your wife to say to you: I know what you want, but you cannot have it today, because I like it that way.
This is erotic.
But when nobody cares ... it is boring.

Anyway. I brought "our" breakfast and it turned out to be a nice morning anyway. We didn't have sex, but a kind of intimacy which is rare over the last years and I felt lucky and proud to be the one who is allowed to live so near with her and to be the one who made her happy this morning.

Midsummernighttalk

We woke up at the same time in the middle of the night. She came close to me and as she was lying in my arms, she realized that I was naked, as I use to be when it is hot like this. She rarely is. I was aroused. Oh ...you are naked, no boxer shorts she said.
I said no.
Then she wrapped her finger around the top of my sac and pulled it down as if to punish me for being so naked (or being aroused).
She said nothing for a while and then
she tightened the grip and pulled more strong.
What would you do for me in order to make me letting you loose again? she whispered.
Hm, I said, the question is more what would I do to make you hold me more often with this possessive grip?
Silence.
Hm, she said. I know what you mean. We both know that you would love me to torture you.
As we know, I said.
And you would do anything for me then?
Yes, I think- not quiet anything, but a lot.
Silence.
That's not enough! She replied and pulled again my balls to the knee.
It has to be anything!
Uh.
Anything! She said. It really hurt now and started to be a little uncomfortable for me.
Okay, anything, I said.
I don't believe you, she answered and the way I heard her breathing beside my ear she must be smiling.
Well, it depends on how you treat me.
It was me who said this.
No, she said, it depends only on you my love. I am not going to spank you as you might demand from me.
No, I not demanding anything like that from you, I replied.
I wouldn't do it anyway she said.
I know.
Yes, she answered.

But you could do what I want you to do anyway- I mean without me doing anything about it, don't you?
Yes I could Madame.
I know you can. Why don't you do so, ....always ?
I am still on my way, I said.
Sounds better, she said, ...but hurry up.
She once again pulled the bells and let me howl just a second to long, whereby she showed that she had time to let me endure my part.

Then she kissed me, snugged at my side and seemed to be asleep again soon.
I needed some time for myself in my aroused state of mind and body and my wonderful wife in my arm.

It was not a dreamless night than, maybe I can tell later, what my dreams where this night and then, what happened the next morning which was a Sunday morning.

She will definitively

For not being so hard with smokers, (if you smoke the right ones..... "West" in this case)

Hope she will be hard with you anyway , especially when and because you smoke.
You need your oxygene to serving her.

And when you do not smoke?
She will be severe too,
just because you are a man. Don't you think she is going to find something that should be corrected? She will definitively.



You just need a strong female, don't you?
Anybody of you. And you know it....
It doesn't matter if you smoke or not.

Riding properly

I mentioned in my answers to question No 5 of my interviewer Lady Julia a device called "The Horse" (here) which used to excite me in my daydreams from time to time. I never tested it but I can imagine it is not so "erotic" and "useful" if it is not used properly and safely.

Nevertheless I would give it a try anyway. I think it would fit to the needs of my wife, because the more I am in this relationship the more I realize that she likes me to endure things for her without having any efforts on her side. So the horse must be very effective, because the wife has not much work with it compared with the resulting discipline effects to the man.

As I wrote there "The Horse" appeared to me on the website of Elise Sutton, but I didn't find the passage anymore, ( it is mentioned also in her book). Now in her Q&A -section of June 2007, right at the second question (here) Elise shows again a link to that passage where a wife named Lee describes the construction and the use of the horse. Please read the Q&A, if you are interested, before using the horse :-).

And anyone who constructed such a thing like the horse or/and then is using it: let me know!

Darling Buds of May Be Submissive

I am so busy living, there is only time to read blogs and no time to write my own :-)
But for me: writing in English is ...a good exercise. (That's why it takes long to produce short texts)
Recently friends took us to a theater -event of a highschool, where their daughter of 17 was one of the actresses.
The beautiful performance of "A Midsummer Night’s Dream" of Shakespeare left me in deep thinkabouts about the young people who were playing.
The main impression was: the girls ruled the scene (as you assumed).
I'd say even dmoninated the play....
In the play of Shakespeare and in the play of the young people it was obvious: The Female is to be adored, worshiped and the male is there to adore, to worship the female.
What a wonderful piece! Wonderful female energy in the mystic sacred grove with the male's -if not a king or something - a little stupid and dependend.
I was thinking , this maybe was only my humble view of a halfway "fauxsubmissive" 50sth voyeur.
But my wife had a similar impression. She liked the girls and the play. She loved it.
(And thats rare, because she is not into "culture"), but she loves truth to be shown.

This was sensually presented masterpiece in which the young women without any doubt were the more active, more beautiful and the most convincing elements on stage.
There was another aspect which made me think about.

In this play people are -part time- victims of a plant sap which turned the scene upside down. The ones who loved each other before now had to be in love with others and vice versa (to make it short).
So it was obvious, that people love because of certain chemistries in plants, given by Oberon, the king of the fairies.
What else is happening when a female pushes the buttons of a man the right way.
She only has to know how.

And that there are not only simple "Love Me" -buttons but also "Love and Worship Me" -butons or even "Love and Serve Me" - buttons, I'm sure Shakespeare knew very well.

All those elements where there.
They are there for thousands of years. But people forgot in the last 300 Years, didn't they?

Standards

I read HH' s post (Tuesday, April 24, 2007 Living with Double Standards) in his blog lately about "double Standards" in relationships.

The first time I noticed, there was something "wrong" in my marriage, was when I found there where double standards.
This at least lead me all the way up and down into this lifestyle. More or less. But more and more: more.
I didn't worry; what do we need rules for, when you are only two and in love?
Things would go back to a "normal" standard soon, I thought.

But underneath the blanket a jungle law is prevailing in every marriage/ relationship, isn't it?

Females seem to love the jungle, because it benefits their concern. They don't seem to like "rules", do they?
The double standards maintained in my marriage.
I found, that there were
1. rules anyway, no doubt
2. not the same rules for each of us
3. the rules are not to be discussed, not even to mention, as far as I might dislike them

So -looking back, I had hard times fighting with my 0ld fashioned "fairness".

For example when I was not so well-behaved She liked to criticize and make fun of me, in a say blessing and blaming way.
But don' t you dare to say anything to Her just that way. When She perhaps was not so... "optimal". Woe is me!

There is no use in fighting against those affairs.
Vae victis, woe to the defeated
When I looked around I found it is happening everywhere like that.
It is already there, the FLR!
Not? - wait until they get a little more over 40, then the men tend to give up resistance or escape.
I found it somehow arousing to have this total jungle play. It is just us. And we do what fits.
But in case I did not tend to acting out parts of the male submissve nature, who knows.

I'm still on my way with it. Sometimes I really resist, sometime I have fun with it.
And so to say the pleasure on Her side might be increasing as far as I see now.

Go This Way

The other night I had dinner with my friend Robert. That's a ritual.
We do it twice a year, just to talk and to enjoy Italian food. We like a good, but not expensive restaurant. Homelike I'd say.
He was complaining again of having no or to rarely sex with his wife. She is a good looking blonde, good shaped. They have three children...
She is cold as ice, he said. Really pissed off he was. He had given up any hope.

I asked what he would like best in his best dreams.
Oral jobs. With her? Of course.

Now I should say he is American.
Seems Americans like this treatment better than intercourse!?
What the heck they love so much about this?
Maybe it is a little different in Europe... who knows.
(What do the Chinese like best... interesting question, about the distinctions)
For myself: That is not my most beautiful dream. I always felt a bit insecure about it... and afraid of loosing my control in the wrong place.

I can understand why some FLR- Ladies call it a nono.

So I liked to test my friend a little bit.
Of course he doesn't know much about the way I am to my wife.

I said I was also having hard times with my wife. But it changed to the good.
That I have tried to make peace with myself and do the best with my possibilities (what we all are supposed to do).
What about being just a gentleman?
Yes, he said, of course you are.
And so are you.
Then I added cautiously: She likes me to go down on her, rather then anything else. (That was not quite it, but I wanted to point it out) When she ever likes to have sex, I act as if I don't expect any reciprocation..... took some time to make that clear to her, to myself.
I said I found this quite amusing. Doing service is better than doing nothing.

He listened.
I think this was interesting to him.
But... No he said ...without release on your side?
Mostly.
His heart was struggling.
Yes ..and always, when she is done, she don't ask me if I wanted to experience any more pleasure in addition this night.
She just don't care...
She just wanted me to cuddle with her and hold her tight until she fell asleep.
It really sounded new for him. Bit weird too, okay but..
he liked hearing the last.
I told him then:
Once the next morning she came along- (still undressed, when I still had my breakfast- I'm early up).
She took a cup of tea, settled down on my knees and asked: Hmm ... did you keep me in your your dreams the whole night, didn't you? I had to assent.
Could happen again like that ....I like that, she said, kissed me and vanished to her bed.

I told him about how it could be great fun to give pleasure to her without ever worrying about my own.
And what, he replied do you do with all your sexual energy- I won't stand that ... no!
Couldn't endure this.

Well, I said, are you doing better with that energy than me?
He was really a bit confused.
But he liked the idea. He liked it. As if he only didn't want to admit so quickly.
In that situation, I added, she calls the shots. Then you just have to obey to her rules and if you are lucky, it will be very lustful again one day, for both of you if you go this way.
That's even more fun, you know, than being finished before anybody is aware of the real beauty of being female and male together.
That imagination he liked very much.
Just be that knight for her.
He liked this too.
I'm sure he really caught something from it.
Later we had a good talk about his wife- and how beautiful she was and about her potentials if only he would let her be herself and him helping her in so many ways.
I hope he will do something with it.
Sometimes I talk about things as if I manage do to it always the right way... But you learn as well by teaching.

See him again one day. I will ask him, what he did. I can tell then....

Sunday

Two Third Potentials

I found an interesting post about how it could be of benefit for Her to have a submissive partner here at Saratogas blog. It is the most complete compilation I know. Written very clearly. Great!
In my interviewing of Aradia here on my blog you can find that up to 62 percent of all males have the potential of being submissive to a woman. As far as I remember Elise Sutton is mentioning even a higher score. And Lady Misato is too. So some of us are just a bit closer to an inner world, is that true? Becky whose blog unfortunately vanished wrote: "How they handle this realization is what makes them different. Some men accept this and lovingly yield to women.
These are the strongest men in my opinion because they are the most honest ones with their feelings." That was a statement I found interesting, so I saved this citation for me.
There are as well tests to find out how a man is wired, Aradia stated.
There are of course still enough open questions on the other end of the riding crop.
As I understand Saratoga not all women like to be dominant and nor ever being kinky. You'd better change your partner then if the subject is important for you. If you like; due to all aspects of your relationship. Many are wavering around with those questions.
On the other side Ms. Sutton believes that women can be "seduced" by
men to act more or less "dominant".
This leads me to the ask : "how far her dominance goes". But that's not so logical because dominant is dominant and if She is dominant the way SHE likes, than it might be quite different from the way her submissive partner was aiming at but she is still dominant.
Wonderful!
Well, I think it is also the way things are advertised to Her, so that one reaction could be a definitive "no" .... as meant forever and another could be a "no", what can be understood as a halfway "yes, I'd try this lifestyle if you only let me do it my way". You are lucky than, but not even halfway through with your concern.
It's obviously rare for a partner to hearing : "Oh yes, I always wanted to boss you around..., go get a rope".
May be it is a matter of the approach. I don't know if that will be enough.. There are some ways of "how to approach" to find in the net. For example here at Lady Julia's blog, or others you can find there too.
But if there are so many (male) potentials, why not arrange a school for Ladies to instruct them how to get comfortable with ways of being dominant to males in order to make the best out of 62 or more percent of all the males in order to make the world a little better, - assuming this would be the case.
Or even much better? Wouldn't this be great?

Aradia Asked

Aradia interviewt me. Here she is:

Dear faninho,

I finally have your 5 questions. Here they are:

1. If you have any BDSM fantasies, and you were given the option of actually fulfilling your darkest one, would you go through with it? Why or why not?

I would. Difficult to find the darkest one, but I‘d go through it, as far as it goes along with my fantasy - including an unscathed survival and with Her staying with me afterwards, if I'd choose the one with the cuckolding... ...Oh heck!!
It's not about erasing my fantasies through realisation, but I'm not experienced enough with reality in this concern!
All of "us" want to live their fantasies, when a good opportunity is given, which is rare. What are we living for? Gaining a black eye? What have I to loose? A Fantasy? Surely, but there might be another one, of that I‘m sure too! And there is always so much to learn about myself.

2. Imagine if you will, that you are in an "adult toy store" being led around by your Wife on a leash in front of all the other P/patrons. She leads you back to the section where BDSM equipment is sold, and asks the sales person if She can try out Her potential purchases on you first. What would your reaction be, and why?

Would be typical for Her! I'd let her do as she liked.
If I would resist She would not let me disgracing Her that way and openly humiliate me of being halfhearted.
That would be the worst for me.
So She got all the power.
Because I was already leashed by Her, I would be anyway in such a „submissive zone“ that I‘d have no choice but meekly if not enthralled dedicate myself to her product testing. The results be at least to my benefit.

If She would -as far as I know Her - go behind a curtain into a cabin with me, she would leave it up to me if my further reactions will be heard in the whole store or not... and if they will to be seen when she's coming out with me from there...me with a red face, sweating, tears in my eyes... who knows! As She always acts economical, She would not spare the material before deciding to purchasing it :)

Would She hug and kiss me afterwards when I did a good job? Possibly.
That would be the best then and I'd be proud ...

3. If you had the choice to be anywhere, other that where your are right now, where would you be? Please give details on your choice.

Venice. La Serinissima. The Female of the Italien Cities. The Great Piazza. Campari with Her. We just came out of the ........- Hotel. Like we did years ago. The first time we tried the "Lady comes first"- way in addition with the denying the male ...like that. Was it her idea? Now sitting there. Her legs are nonchalantly crossed . Just an elegant dress. Her wonderful thighs. Her cleavage. 10:PM . We are in love. Could do anything for her. I am so eager watching Her. She accepts. Tickles my crotch under the small table, with her bare toe, despite all the people around. She loves to see me go a little nervy. Laughing together.
Feeling the trails of her nails on my body, smelling her fragrance- .
Warm air. Warm stones underneath our feet on (except the one of hers). The smell. This is Venice to me and so much more. Just love this place which is a stage all the time. A stage which invites you to show up who you are in unconditional love. Like in a fairytale. Walking around there makes me always a bit more proud of being a human being

4. "To go where no man has gone before." Where would that be for you, and why?

On the mars? To the very deepest submission? To an answer of this question? To pass away without any fear?
Maybe no man has really been before in total understanding and love with the other(s).

5. You win a windfall of money... what would be the first three things you would do with it?

1. Definitively ask my wife and share it with Her in a partitioning of Her choice.
2. If something is left from Number 1. for me, what I hope, I‘ll -care about the house, the holidays, the wellness -all with limits (except the Ferrari LOL) ... and what it takes to prepare a place for love and understanding ..to than:
3. find out what I can do to make the world a little better (a try, but...) This process will take some time and needs intuition, but I will succeed soon- because submission means to me to surrender to the pleasure of life; to increase it a bit outside of myself as well.
   Just projecting wellfare for others, who need it.
   

Linkin' skills

Due to my skills in layouting my beautiful blog I found out that the beauty must be more of an inner quality as coming from the outfit. Trying to install a "sitemeter" (idea of Susan -went -away ?) I lost my linking- list of "blogs I read" in... translation. But most of the writers I like you may find from time to time in my comments... (good to have..).
Maybe I 'll manage soon to repair....but not today.

Happy Easter

It is Easter Saturday - one of my favorites days in the year. Driving my old Mercedes -(we only got old cars) I wish I could play piano and sing at the same time like Bruce Hornsby in "That's just the way it is" - one of my favorite songs anyway. It appeared on the radio while I was around somewhere in the Swiss alps and I thought: I like it the way it is. I am not living tomorrow. The problems we have with each other, especially the ones we have with our spouses, are there to motivate you to learning something about ourselves- and not always to find an answer that erases the question. Leave the question a bit. Questions are -once in a while- worth for themselves, aren't they?
Not so the interview questions I read in the blog- neighborhood recently.
It's wonderful to get an image of people you don't know in reality or which you know only by bloging. Isn't that fun?

Lady Julia Asked

Lady Julia gave me 5 Questions , see:

she said...

faninho :) I'm happy to interview you. Let's see...

1) It's a beautiful spring day. You can do anything you would like to do with one restriction, you cannot spend any money. How would you spend your day?

What a question...Beautiful.
I 'll have all the time to please my Lady. Up and down. (Of course I'll be a good boy and ask her before what she likes best).

So: get up at 9, dress in a way she likes me to: just jeans and stripped to the waist; then bring her tea and two toasts the way she loves it.
I‘d kissed her gently on the forhead.

Then let her sleep again a little further as she likes this most, despite the toasts are getting cold. She likes things (and persons) waiting for her.
I like to be they waiter today. She loves it.
She‘d like the smell oft the toast ...and take another nap.

I meanwhile would clean up the kitchen, (the kids are at not at home) and the bathroom, take a shower and go like that in her bedroom again.
I carefully would give her a wake- up foot massage. She would want more and when I reach her thighs, her tighs..!, I would be so excited that I could‘nt resist of asking her of going down on her -iif that would be a fine idea. It's a question without words. I know she would reject me, but you never know and today she makes an exception and she lets me ... What a lucky day!
Spring -air comes through the open window.
After a while she‘d say: „I like to be your wife and even more I like you to be my husband.... never forget this even if you miss something“
Like in a good movie.
An hour later she's had a bath of luxury with me sitting on the side and telling her the news of our business which we run togehter. Or whatever she likes. I help to decide what to wear..(see Q#3). Later than we go by feet (no money!) to a nice lake wich is not far from our house. The water is still to cold, but we are lying in the grass. She wants me to totally undress... "Do you dare..? With me dressed? I think there is nobody around...."
She knows I'm shy but I do as suggested.
And because it is obviously indeed nobody there she askes me, if I would be too submissive to „rape“ her a little bit ...
now and here. I'd say "no" and would do so.. ..

2) Think back to when you very first recognized that you were drawn to female domination. Did anything in particular happen to lead you to this or to help you recognize you felt this way, or was it more gradual awakening?

Since I was a boy I always was in great awe with women.
Despite of this and in addition I had kinky fantasies.

So I focussed on women and tried to forget about the kinks.
That worked for a while.

It changed later when I got to know my wife, with whom I experienced
some hot times in different ways.
I could not realIy tell her and to myself what I was up to ..
I found then many things in the net which led me to the term "Loving female authority" . This helped me so much to find out who I was and what I wanted!!

Those ideas did change my life! I then focused more on my wife‘s needs and to women in general.
My wife: she became sexually, spiritually (again) the focus of my world- a husband should have it like that.
I tried to direct my desires in a way she could deal with; and this was more or less: trying to please her, live up to her expectations...serve her (without her noticing this to much) So the two kinds of craving came somehow together while I was serving this woman, who drew out my attention so much to female domination- without yet embracing it herself.
But on the other side of the coin she is growing slightly dominant.

3) If you could pick out your wife's clothing for one evening, an evening spent at home with only you, what would you choose for her to wear?

She owns a kind of Jil Sander- style dress. That is „simple elegant“; grey with a touch of olive and it is like a big open men's-shirt with a firm fabric. It has just a big button facing from the top down to her thighs. Arms half to the elbow. No decollete. She creates the decollete by leaving the first three buttons open.. or more. The same appears at the other end. It depends on her mood if she lets open how many ? buttons, and chances are good that you get a glimpse of her noble breasts as well as of her shiny thighs. There is nothing like that ... You don‘t have to ask how much I adore her style. She doesn't need more. No stockings , no boots, just flat shoes...and her bare feet. Underneath? A simple white tight bra and a french cut pantie (when this is the one with the highly shaped legs??) would fit.

4) You've been given 10,000 euros with the proviso that you do something totally decadent. What do you do?

I‘ll take the money to organize a „Leashed Walk Around“ - it goes like that: Companies for beauty, style, journalism, TV, underwear, cars etc. are allowed to advertise and therefore to pay to any participating women let's say 100euros.
She has to bring along one (or more) man /men of her choice at a collar and a leash, dressed after her decision (with limits, so that children can watch this as well)
They meet in the middle of Berlin and walk through the famous portal of the „Brandenburg Tor“ down the alley and demonstrate for the control of men‘s power through women. I'll serve champagne to the girls and ladies, leashed by my wife as well.

5) Imagine that your wife has fully embraced the dominant role in your relationship. She has so completely embraced it that your home has a fully equipped dungeon. In your fantasy of fantasies, what does she reach for first?

Fantasy, OK!
As SHE likes to minimize efforts, she would let me ride „The Horse“. Which I was to construct for us of course.
I was very impressed, when I first read about this. The device was described by a female reader (Ms Lee) on the website of Elise Sutton (and in her book „Female Domination“):
„In it's simplest form, the "horse" is basically a sturdy saw horse with a pointed cross beam“
The beam is positioned a little to high for me to ride on it with both feet flat on the floor.
She would simply have me standing naked with spread legs on the wooden board „with my organs resting on it“. My wife would fasten my hands behind my neck or even better connected to a rope hanging from the ceiling.
So her part would be done.
She would leave some suggestions in my ear to think about how to improve my performance as a her husband.
She‘d give me a good time for myself to think about her words while the situation would become more and more uncomfortable for me with time, so that I had to move from one side to another -until at least I would be "properly riding" the horse.
She is coming back soon, kissing me softly while I am enduring this painful ride and she then beginning to ask me tenderly all the questions which I normally liked to avoid giving answers. I couldn't sidestep a bit, to be taken literally. She tells me that she is totally convinced that my reactions and answers now given in this state of „slight discomfort“ will represent my truth.
It is yet not real pain, (she says...), but this could perhaps follow later... If I would not be honest, she would leave me on the horse. Then she would do some phone calls first - I would hear her then talk in the hall - maybe with her sister, which can take ages..... Her sister is a very conservative and beautiful lady, who likes to hear my voice too for a moment. My wife would come with the telephone and hold it to my face and her sister would ask me how I was of course.... There are many other options to think about what could happened while I am in this position and action while my wife would not have to do anything.
So it depends on my answers and my openness to my wonderful wife, my cheerful expression of love and devotion to her, if and when she will be ready to let me off the horse again.

She is also convinced of me being much more skillful after such a ride, when I then am to please her...in many ways. That's -and saving effort on her side- is another reason for her to reach out for the horse first.

Thank you for interviewing me Lady Julia!

Small Talk

SHE:"...and you are sure, you don't want to...?"
He : "No, I said I don't have to. I like to please you "
SHE: "Yes, so you don't have to now, I think. You can have it later ...is that possible?"
He : "it is possible, you don't like me to have it?"
She: "No...of course I do. But today I like that you don't have it now...because I think you like that I say you don't have it now...is that right or not?"
He : "uhm..yes.. in a way that's correct. I find it arousing"
SHE: "Thats what I mean. But let's stop talking... I want you to...you know like last time.. you know what I mean."
He : "Go down on you."
SHE: ".. don't name it, honey, just do something... like that"
He : "okay"
SHE: "until I say stopp.."
He : "- - - "
SHE: "--"
He : "okay"
SHE: "no, you don't have to think you always have to be too slowly..."
He : "okay"
SHE: "Why don't you do it more often like that, when you know I like it so much..!"
He : "-- ??? I thought you don't like to have sex ...... hm...too often..."
SHE: "Thats not really sex....is it? And it is not too often...right?"
He : "I'd love to do it more often for you."
SHE: "Then do it more often....now!"
He : "okay...."
SHE: " and it is not only for me...it is for you too"
He : "yes"
SHE: "so hold on..."

With Springtime

Due to the changes in my life and realizing that I am more or less submissive to my wife I recognize changing in my behavier.

Earlier I used to complain that I was not lucky in my marriage. I always missed something. Let's call it (loving) female energy. And sex wasn't satisying and happend only from time to time, rarely.

SHE said once that the males would loose the need for sex and for the female with age. That was without regret.
(As if she waited for my sexual energy to vanish.)
But the opposite is the case. It is increasing in a way. I need the female energy more than ever.
I adore the female more than I did when I was young
But I need sex more as a close-to-her-feeling than as a relief (in a female body on a everyday basis).

Missing that the fantasy of being "her slave" or beeing "her knight" (which I prefer) -you name it- helps a bit to endure the all-day "nothing.."
I 'm not asking for what I need or what I desire instead I try to please her.

So this winter I was doing anything that she wanted and demanded- and that is sometimes a pleasure for me, but sometimes really not-.

Am I closer to her now? Do I have a little more of what I like?

Perhaps in the sense of not having so much trouble
and not arguing with her.
She really becomes more stern with me. Does not ask anymore - it is more like "you do please the vacuuming now...." etc.
No charming way. No Misato- way, if you know what I mean.
(It might have to do with her hormonal changes. She will be 50 next year.)

So that's exactly like submissive boys want to be treated. Isn't it?
But I'm not sure if that is what I want. In a way it is not nice and in the other way it's just half way, but difficult to push further.
The days are running by, and as "the slave's job is never done" I am getting a bit tired in my position because nothing of all the stuff I am looking for is happening, even if I really don't "want to expect" it.

I know it is difficult. And so it seems for many of you hubbies out there too- as I can read often in the blogs.
Just having dreams. Little steps in reality.

We don't eaven have the time to talk. For her to tell me what she is missing. Time for me to say what I miss. The time of going to bed mostly differs 2 hours - and the wake-up times do as well - we have rare opportunities of "coming togehter".

Do women have no need for being close togehter with their men?
Earlier she used to say, when I was asking for sex "too often", she sometimes liked just cuddling.
So I did!! But there is no cuddling at all, even when I don't mention (with words and body) sex and forget about sex (if that would be possible).
It is just boring. That's what I'm feeling these days.

I need to go ahead further.... it's spingtime.

Dogs, Chastity Devices and Fluids

There is a saying that men are similar to dogs, women to cats. That makes sense in a way. When I consider my behavior concerning sex it seems not too far...
Especially when it comes to the submissive part of the game.
When I get down on HER there is not a big difference to what dogs do and like.
Then I am would be the dog and SHE is would be the cat..

We had a female dog in our garden years ago and another male dog in the garden of our neighbor. What she did was: she educated him in that way: she stood with her behind at the fence (whenever she wanted) and let him lick through the fence her best parts. They both loved it a lot and it took always a long time (i.e. half an hour and more).

The fence was so to say a good chastity device. Our female dog hated penetration.... Before she never would let lick some other dog her behind, but now, when she could be "safe" and totally decide when and how long... she used the opportunity very often. It was really fun to see for us.

Yes and somewhere I read that there are hormones in the vagina fluids, when it is pleased which increase submission of the male, who is licking from it... I forgot where I read this.
Does anybody know where I can find something about the subject?
Well I can say, there is something in it which increases addiction on my part.

Terms of Fled...

About new terms for a FLR. FLM. FL...
What about "Flarriage"- as a female led marriage...?
Or:
What about "Fledlock"?
Would be for female -led- wedlock. Locked by a female, by her leading. Great.

"How was your fledlock -ceremony?"

"Oh fine, I feel great being fledlocked".
Not bad! What do you think?

Love to you all fledlocked -no, not ledflocked,....- couples from
faninho -locked, say fledlocked

Superior

Are they superior?
The answer could be
a. I think they are , but they aren't.
b. They are
c. They are equal i.e. men aren't either superior of course.

Who knows? Only the females?
In my situation: I think it's - say- here yes, there no.
When you wan't to know who is better in managing- a man, a family, an institution with people, politics... then the answer is: yes women seem to be better in it...superior.
Sexually etc., of course.

So what the heck are men good for? If not helping a woman, serving a woman. Give her protect, advice, power. Could there be something more beautiful for us?
So what should education, school should teach young boys?
Besides to be strong, to be better than others, okay, good sport?
In the first line: respect and protect and support women. Submit, surrender.
What about obeying?

Because it could be that women just right now are to climb up the next step of evolution. That's from men (mankind) to women (kind)? Isn't it already to be seen anywhere?
I don't want to be the last one to notice.
I want to be with them. Like to join. Be part of the future.
It's not about loosing something - erotically, sexually etc.
It's about being a man in a new dimension.
Gain more life- power in my relationship of a kind I didn't expect ever before.

Submit to ....

My first wife in this sense (we were not actually married) didn't notice anything of my submissive side. I was more of a macho. I had submissive fantasies from time to time, but they were not directed to her.
The relationship was a bit boring after a while for some reasons.

I believe submissiveness is more or less inside the nature of any man. It comes out and it increases by biography, by age and by certain circumstances like meeting a woman of a particular kind.

Some women seem to touch the submissive side inside her man more than others.
Once a woman has found out how that works for her she starts to like it and to use this power -without any "FLR"- elements.
That's normal and it is the matter of fact when we can say "this is a good marriage", especially when couples are aging. The more when it comes to a more or less FLR- marriage.

My second wife now has just this attribute which fits: she stirs my nature that way and so I am submissive to her and it is becoming exactly the way she likes it.
I felt her power right at the beginning when we dated.
It's been very attracting to me- and to her too. But I didn't know where that came from. It took me some time until I could direct my feelings of that quality to my wife. I ow this to researches in the net. So Elise Sutton wrote in her "How To Introduce Your Wife..." things like "..if you are a submissive male who is married or in a serious relationship with a woman, you need to search no further for your Dominatrix. She is right in front of you."
This touched me tremendously.
But nevertheless it has to be the woman you love and you are attracted to.

Our friends now envy HER for having such a husband and call us a very good couple.
My first wife comments that sometimes with a bitter taste.
But this dynamic would not have worked with her, nor would it today, because she is still the same and I could not feel submissive to her.

In my opinion it takes two. That's the best.

In The Bathtub

I read a beautiful story recently from Subservire's blog where she peed on him.
It reminded me of a scene which I experienced with my wife, when we were sitting in the bath together years ago.
It was quite for a while and we talked a lot and were playing a bit with our bodies, so from time to time I had a hard on. Suddenly she got up saying she had to pee now.
I said she wouldn’t have to leave the bath for doing that, she could do it just right there.
She laughed- already standing highly above me- „just like that, right from here like a male...?“ she asked and added „ I do it now ..on you!“

She expected me to struggle against her or flee.
But I said... „sure you can".
As I knew her very well I expected that she would call me crazy and leave the situation. But she did not- not yet- she pushed her hips forward, having her feet on each side of my body, looked down on me with a smile then looked to her crotch and let some urine out just strong and far enough to reach with the beam for a couple of seconds my chest and my hard-on.

As I obviously seemed to like it very much she stopped peeing and went out of the bathtub.
While she was sitting on the toilet she cooled down and said that I would be a little kinky like that –she wouldn’t like to go more into that. Better prefer to use the toilet.

She didn’t have the fun she intended – with me jumping disgusted out of the bath -say pissed off - and grumbling at her for her being so barefaced.
That’s what she’d like I think.
Instead I acted a little weired in her eyes while enjoying her peeing on me.
We both didn’t not realize the potentials of inherent intimacy in this ongoing neither my surrender to her female power over me.

But there is something in it that she would like, as I know now.
Being comfortable. Confront me with her body and her excretions- She likes to be on the toilet when I am in the room.
But she don't like me to more than accept this.
And eagerly adoring her.
She's special and I learned to respect her, and I'm special too.
But the story makes me think about again going a more into this. -without pushing. How will that go?

As we still go bathing together it is a good idea to bring it up again.
Perhaps I can start with just letting her pee while she is lying.
She might like it like that, but she didn’t do it with me inside (the bathtub)- or did she already, without me knowing it? Anyway she won't with her sense for parity, because she never would like to have it the other way round .
But it could be possible without me knowing. Yes.. That is fun!